In which we show our patriotism with consumerism.

8 Jul

I don’t really think of July 4th as a special day. I mean, I get the day off work and that’s special. But it’s mostly only ever been food and traffic and annoying/ugly shit in the sky. If anything, I think of it as an eating holiday, much like Thanksgiving.

Somehow it was decided that we would spend the day roaming around the most confusingly laid out mall ever. One half is on one side of the JC Penney, and the other half is on the other side of the JC Penney, but you have to walk through the store to get there. I was having a bathroom emergency due to too much iced coffee and we trekked across the whole place to find a bathroom. During our mission there was a smallish shop that was a novelty t-shirt place, kind of what you would find in any mall. We passed it again after locating the bathrooms (miles later) and went inside and SOMETHING MAGICAL HAPPENED.

They sell Sharks jerseys. And hats and baby rompers and signs and all kinds of Sharks shit. They also had a shoe sale table. Sadly, my shoes were purchased at the packed Vans store next door with almost no help from a salesperson who couldn’t tell the difference between a ladies 5 and a ladies 7. Anyway.

So now we’re totally ready for hockey to start back up. We have our teal and black shoes, jerseys we saved big on because I fit into youth sizes, and we’ve got our eyes on some tickets in October. (Yes that is clumps of dog hair with some nasty scabs attached – she’s a cold weather dog in a California summer and she chews her ass and no one has vacuumed this week.)

So, after a crazy impulse purchase, we go to leave and The Dog isn’t in the Jeep. Apparently she tried to jump out and was all but hanging herself and a man in a cowboy hat unattached her from her harness. We eventually found her running laps around the mall trying to find a way in to get to us. This is the first time she’s done that when I’ve been there and she nearly gave me a heart attack.

My two biggest babies. And the second window with finished curtains! But really, this is all I ever see. Usually The Dog looks more loving but she’s afraid of the camera. Maybe that’s how I can get her out of my side of the bed…

Today, my white trash neighbors down the street have decided to continue to use the stockpile of fireworks they’ve been trying to go through since last Thursday. Have I mentioned that The Dog is reduced to a shivering bowl of jello when fireworks are happening? It’s been a week. I would go yell at them, but one of them whistled at me earlier today and they have a bunch of apple cores in their yard, and I think I would just end up yelling about that instead.

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